Funny Bleach Episode 17
by RukiaLady94
Summary: Never ask Yoruichi if it s her time of the month if she s upset. EVER. Lol.


Funny Bleach Episode 17: Yoruichi`s Bad Day

[For some it may be a beautiful day. But for others..not so much...]

[Yoruichi is sitting on the couch with an angry look on her face]

Ichigo: Hey Catwoman. What`s crackin`?

Yoruichi: Your dick if you don`t get out of my face..

Ichigo: Geez. Looks like somebody`s in a bad mood. (Walks away)

Yoruichi: Yeah that`s right. Walk away, assface! (Reads paper) This day sucks...

Yammamoto: (Walks by) Why so quiet, Yoruichi? Cat got your tounge this time? (Laughs)

Yoruichi: That joke wasn`t funny then and it`s not funny now. So why don`t you just leave me alone and go take your spongebath, old bag.

Yammamoto: Wow. She must really be in a bad mood. Propably her time of the month.

Yoruichi: Get lost you scumbag! And it`s not my time of the month you freak!

Yammamoto: Whatever you say. (Walks away)

[Kisuke, Rukia and Rangiku walk by and sit on the couch]

Kisuke: Hey sweetheart.

Yoruichi: Eat dirt and die, trash.

Kisuke: Wow. What`s wrong, Kitty Cat?

Yoruichi: Leave me alone!

Rukia: Oh man. I can`t believe the newest Yaoi magazines are sold out already. This is soo not my day.

Rangiku: I am so sad.

Yoruichi: Oh get over yourself. You`re not the only Yaoi lovers out there waiting for new magazines so you can get them all for yourself, ya know.

Rangiku: Yeah, but it`s so sad.

Yoruichi: Oh boo-hoo. Get over it. Life sucks sometimes.

Rukia: Hey you seem upset.

Yoruichi: Really? I had no idea.

Rangiku: Is it your time of the month?

Yoruichi: I`m not upset and it sure the hell ain`t my time of the month!

Rukia: Then why are you yelling at everyone?

Yoruichi: No reason. I just feel like yelling today if that`s okay! And stop asking me if it`s my time of the month! Can you do that? Can you do that? Can you do that for me please? Thank you! (Flash steps outside)

Kisuke: Damn. I`ve never seen her this upset over nothing.

Rukia: Yeah, me neither.

Rangiku: Well there`s obviously something going on. Let`s go find out what it is, Rukia.

Rukia: Are you crazy? I`m not going anywhere near her until I know it`s safe. I mean let`s face it, at this rate she`s like a bomb that will explode at anyone at any moment.

Rangiku: NOW!

Rukia: Okay fine. Let`s get this over with. Just don`t blame me if she blows us up.

Yoruichi: (Stares at the sky) Hmm...

Rukia: There you are!

Rangiku: Damn, girl. You are hard to find.

Yoruichi: (Is sitting in the grass) Only when I don`t want to be found. So what brings you here today?

Rukia: Our legs.

Rangiku: Hehe.

Yoruichi: Wow. That`s very obvious...

Rukia: So what`s wrong with you today? You sure it`s not your time of the month?

Yoruichi: YES! I already told you. Besides, it`s worse than that.

Rangiku (Sits on the grass and accidently sits on a thorn) OUW, thorn thorn thorn! (Jumps up) Ouw. That freakin` stung!

Rukia: I can imagine how that felt. Anyways, Yoruichi what`s really going on?

Yoruichi: I`m pregnant.

Rukia and Rangiku: WHAAAT?

Yoruichi: Relax, I`m just joking around. (Laughs) You should`ve see the look on your faces.

Rangiku: Not funny. Tell us why you`re so angry today.

Yoruichi: Fine. But you gotta admit, that was pretty darn funny. (Laughs)

[Rukia and Rangiku stare at her with a serious face]

Yoruichi: Okay okay. Well...I`m in a bad mood because someone stole all my Yaoi magazines.

Rukia: Oh my god that`s awful!

Rangiku: Can you imagine if I woke up one morning and found out that my Yaoi magazines were stolen?

Rukia: The world would come to an end. (Grins)

Rangiku: Damn right it would.

Rukia: I was only kidding. Would you really do such a thing?

Rangiku: Hell yeah!

Yoruichi: I just want to know who took them...

Rangiku: It has to be a boy.

Rukia: Why is that?

Rangiku: Helloo? Boys hate Yaoi, remember?

Yoruichi: Not all boys. Gin sure does seem to love Yaoi.

Rangiku: Okay, besides Gin then.

Rukia: There`s only one way to find out who did it. Tie `em up on a chair and force them to watch the hottest of the hottest Yaoi videos until they go completely crazy. Like we did last time with Byakuya.

Rangiku: Yeah, I had fun that day. After that we were chasing Yammamoto with sticks and then his pants fell off. (Laughs) Good day.

Yoruichi: Alright girls. Let`s do this for our right to Yaoi!

[At the boy`s hangout room]

Yoruichi: Alright you furballs, who stole my Yaoi magazines?

Gin: (Is sitting next to Ichigo on the couch) Oh my. Someone stole your Yaoi magazines? That is not very nice. I want to help look too.

Ichigo: Oh please. Who would want to steal your Yaoi magazines?

Yoruichi: And I suppose you didn`t steal them, huh.

Ichigo: That`s all I`m sayin`. (Lays on the couch)

Gin: Oh you are a good boy then.

Ichigo: Yup.

Rukia: Wow. I never saw that coming.

Rangiku: If Ichigo didn`t do it, then who did?

Yoruichi: Sounds like a weird mysterie to me. Oh well sorry we interrupted your romance boys. Carry on.

[The girls walks out]

Ichigo: Romance? What romance?

GinL (Lays on Ichigo and puts his hand on his chest) You tell me. (Gigles)

Ichigo: Crap.

[The girls walk passed Byakuya]

Byakuya: Yoruichi, I can sense that there is something troubling you. What is it?

Yoruichi: Some asshole stole my Yaoi magazines.

Byakuya: Yoruichi, I AM that asshole. Wait that didn`t sound right.

Rukia: So you were the asshole who stole her magazines.

Rangiku: Why, asshole? Why?

Byakuya: Please stop using that word. I have a very good explanation. Well actualy, two explanations. 1: They were not stolen, they were taken. Wich is a whole different story. And 2: Yammamoto ordered me to take them.

Rukia: What for?

Byakuya: He thinks you girls are scaring away the guests with it.

Rukia: What guests?

Byakuya: How should I know? He`s the one with these stupid thoughts in his head, not me.

Yoruichi: That old trash bag thinks he can steal my Yaoi magazines and get away with it? He is soo gonna get his A double S kicked! Let`s go!

Rangiku: You could`ve just said ass.

Yoruichi: (Kicks the door open) Old man we gotta talk.

Yammamoto: I`m sorry but I don`t have the time. Come again tomorrow.

Yoruichi: NOW!

Yammamoto: On second thought, I change my mind. So what brings you here today?

Yoruichi: My two legs and my "missing" Yaoi magazines. Where are they?

Yammamoto: Oh your magazines are here with me.

Rangiku: That`s nice, but what are they doing there?

Yammamoto: I didn`t think you would mind if I read them...

Rukia: You son of a-what?

Yoruichi: You were reading them? Why did you ask Byakuya to take them then?

Yammamoto: Let`s face it, these old legs I have don`t exactly move so fast anmyore.

Rangiku: Damn right they don`t. You should really feel good about yourself.

Byakuya: Well this was a complete waste of my time. I thought he was gonna burn `em or something.

Yoruichi: Soo what do you think, Sir?

Yammamoto: I can see now what I couldn`t see before.

Rangiku: That`s because you`re wearing eye contacts now.

Yammamoto: True.

Byakuya: He should`ve just burned them all...

[Rukia kicks him in the nuts]

Byakuya: But I`ve been wrong before. (Falls on the floor in pain)

Rukia: Yup, you have. (Smiles)

[Everyone is laughing at Byakuya]

[The unexpected has happened. Yammamoto is now officially a rookie Yaoi lover]

The End 


End file.
